Beware of the internet!

Activity 3 - You Think and Voice

Post Lesson relections
Read the following article by The Straits Times (26/05/2008) 'Smile. You're in a relationship'.
In dating, common interests trump physical intimacy, say teens surveyed. It's a fact of teen life: Your hormones are raging and curiosity over a three-letter word is at an all-time high. But when it comes to dating, teens here are not about to jump into bed with anyone – having that special connection with someone is more important. That's what 353 teens told us about the dating scene in a survey conducted by IN's cub reporters this month. The respondents from 15 secondary schools were asked about their attitudes towards dating. Over 90 per cent of them were Secondary 2, or Secondary 3 students. The rest were in Secondary 1, 4 or 5. What we found: When it came to that initial attraction, it wasn't studly bodies or model looks that did it, but a great smile. Almost half, or 45 per cent, said it was the first thing they noticed about the opposite sex. The survey also threw up other interesting nuggets about teen dating. For example, an overwhelming majority said secondary school was the ideal time to start searching for that special someone. For some, like Orchid Park Secondary 3 student Elizabeth Lee, it's a matter of self-empowerment. "At this age, I know what's best for me," said the 15-year-old. Others thought the mark of puberty between the ages of 13 and 17 signalled emotional maturity – a sign of readiness for a relationship.Fourteen-year-old Koh Yang Wei was more direct.Said the Secondary 3 Holy Innocent's High School student: "It's the time when we start to get horny. "But even as their sex drives kick into gear, for most teens, getting physical was not the topmost thing on their minds. More than two-thirds of respondents thought the perfect date was when they "couldn't stop talking and laughing".
By contrast, fewer than one in 10 students picked physical intimacy as his or her main criterion. In fact, judging from the responses, sex did not rank very highly at all. What respondents craved was companionship and conversation. And yes – that was true for the boys, too.
The survey found that both boys and girls were in sync when it came to their romantic lives.Nearly 9 in 10 students preferred dating only one person compared to seeing a few people at a time.
They were also a sentimental bunch. Most said they would write love notes, talk on the phone and SMS every day to show their affection.Both boys and girls also agreed that the ability to talk about anything, having the same interests, and not feeling bored when together – were all major signs that a couple were meant for each other.
Even American teens seem to share the same values when it comes to boy-girl relationships. A study done by psychology researchers from the State University of New York showed that teenage boys, like girls, were motivated by the same love and desire for meaningful relationships. They examined data collected from 105 boys, average age 16, who were asked their reasons for pursuing a relationship. The top answer, marked by 80 per cent of the boys? "I really liked the person. "Physical attraction came in second. Dr Carol Belhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children's Society, was not surprised. "At this age, finding your identity is most important. Teens want to look for others with common interests. "They want to be acknowledged; they want to share their lives – that's not a 'boy' or 'girl' thing," she added. But Dr Belhetchet raised an eyebrow when told almost all the teens surveyed here said sex was not a major factor when dating. "This is the age of experimentation. This sense of exploration is also why teen relationships don't last very long – typically not longer than a month. "Such an observation would not sit well with Ho Wei Yang, a Secondary 1 student at Bukit View School. The 13-year-old, who says he has yet to find his soulmate, is not looking to date more than one person – ever. "Just one is enough," he told IN. "Because if you already have a girlfriend, you're already at the stage where you're sure she's the right one." A true romantic. And he's not alone.

Answer the following questions based on the article above
(A) It was mentioned that "the mark of puberty between the ages of 13 and 17 signalled emotional maturity – a sign of readiness for a relationship". Do you agree that between 13 and 17 is a good time to go steady? And why?
(B) Interestingly, the article also mentions that sex was not a major factor when dating but rather companionship and conversation. Based on your own experience or interaction with your peers, how accurate or true is that opinion of our youths in Singapore?

Answer:
No. 13 to 17 is not a good tme to go steady. When puberty starts, people do tend to get more interested to know what the body of the opposite gender looks like. But I think that people aged 13 to 17 are not mature enough to even take care of themselves and much less take care of others.
Sex is a major factor when dating. Companionship and conversation is also important but sex is also important. People should not have sex if they are not mentally and physically ready. Sex is a serious offence and people get charged for having sex at an inapproprate age. Sex can change the life of people and their future may be ruined.

Activity 2 - What do you really want?

Part 1
Read the following article taken from The Straits Times (24 August 2008), "What they want in a partner". The Sunday Times spoke to 10 dating agencies about the qualities that men and women look for in their other halves and, boy, Singaporeans sure are fussy.
AGE
HE: Men want women aged between 25 and 32. Reason? Most are concerned about having children.
SHE: Women prefer older males. Some do not mind dating those who are two to three years younger.
LOOKS
HE: Men go for those who are slim and have big eyes, long hair, long legs and big breasts – but who are not bimbos. Celebrities like Jolin Tsai, Felicia Chin and Fiona Xie are benchmarks.
SHE: Women prefer men who are taller than them, are not balding, dress well and have pleasant faces.
CHARACTER
HE: She should be gentle, demure and sometimes submissive. She should also be "well-behaved". Smoking and tattoos are taboo.
SHE: He must be confident, humorous, family-oriented and able to look after a family. He must also be easy to talk to.
CAREER/FINANCES
HE: She can be successful but not more so than him. For example, she must not have a higher degree or salary. Some want women with careers linked to good looks, like air stewardesses.
SHE: He must have a stable job and earn at least $50,000 a year. Some want men with glamour jobs like pilots.
Now that you have heard what Singaporeans seek in a partner, now it is time for us to hear what's your take and your personal choice.

Part 2
Identify and explain at least one characteristics which you
A) MUST and GOTTA have..
B) can do without..when it comes to choosing your steady.
Blog your answers on your CHARISMA blog after thinking through. PS: You are expected to give individual answers as each of us would have different measures of what is important.

Jaf Qi's take and personal choice:
Feel comfortable with him (must)
Filial (must)
Humorous (must)
Easy to communicate with (must)
Cannot smoke or have tatoo (must)
Wont feel bored with him (must)
Older then me/Same age (want)
Cute (want)
Share common hobbies (want)

Venice's take and personal choice:
Sweet (must)
Fun loving (must)
Easy to communicate with (must)
Tall (want)
Cute / Hot (want)
Humorous (want)

Activity 1 - Brainstorm

With your CHARISMA partner, discuss the following questions:
1. Why do people go steady?
2. When can we go steady?
3. Are there any consequences if we were to go steady at a young age? if so, what could they be?

Answer:
1. People think they have alot of free time and think that they can manage both work and love together.
2. When they are mature enough to take care of themselves and others.
3. The studies may be affected and the grades will drop.

Session 6 - Cyber Wellness Community

In life, you will meet many people; some will encourage and help you and others that will discourage or even distract you. These people will eventually play a part in molding your character, values and life principles. Can you identify the voices around you? “Voices” refers to those that are able to influence or make an impact on your actions/thoughts. E.g. Parents, friends, or even people who you do not know. Sometimes these “voices” can influence you without you being aware of it.
Question:
As a student, what are the “voices” that surround you? What can you do to prevent those “voices” that can influence you negatively? Go to the website below, complete the quiz, and find out if you are the one influencing others. After looking at the site, post the results of your quiz on your blog. http://www.abovetheinfluence.com/above-it.aspx#

Answer:
The "voices" around me are number one: The voices of concern from family, teachers and friends. Number two: the voices of hurtful comments thrown at me or behind my back by people who dislike me. I do not really care about those hurtful remarks and comments thrown at me. If they dislike me, then I'll let them dislike me. I do not need to force people to accept who I am because I am who I am and I am the only one who knows myself the best. If my character is what other's dislike, so be it. I still have my family and my real friends.
My results for the quiz:
The Heat's On - The pressure is all around you, but you're dealing with it.
Based on your answers, you're probably feeling some pressure. You can start by recognizing the influences in your life and trusting your instincts. If you decide something's not for you, go with that. Your choices matter so try to make decisions that you can stand by and not feel bad about later.

Session 5 - Online Relationships

Question:
Read the article on http://www.asiaone.com/News/the+Straits+Times/Story/A1Story20081218-108645.html. In this article,“The girl said she thought that after having sex with the boy, the relationship would last. Do girls her age normally think like this?” My question to you is: Do girls her age normally think like this? Also, do you think its appropriate to go into a relationship at your age?

Answer:
I do not know if other girls will think this way but i do not. I think that at the age of 11, we should just put all our focus onto our studies. Relationships can cause one to score badly i studies. Going out and dating will only take away all your free time which are suppose to be spent on studies. Relationships should only be though of at a later time. Maybe in jc or when you have a stable job and you are confirmed that you are able to maintain balance both work and love. I do not think that sex can make a relationship last. Today, many people still divorce even when they have 4-5 kids. This proves that sex cannot make a relationship last.

Session 4 - Cyber Bullying

Question:
“Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.” Do you think it's true? False? What do you think?

Answer:
False! I think that words are the things that hurt people the most. When people say hurtful things to you like "You are irritating! Don't bother about me, you are not any better yourself. Bother about yourself before you come and tell people to do things YOUR way." the person receiving all this comments will feel very hurt inside. Now at this teenage age where friends are very important to most of us, we will feel useless and think that you are infering into people's life when they say those words to you. But in actual fact, it's just that you are kind and trying to ADVICE them to do the correct things or they will be the ones suffering in the end. Hurtful words are the most hurtful things on earth. They are even more hurtful then physical bully. If people scold you, the words they say may make the receiver feel mentally hurt and it may affect his/her thinking towards life in the future. The receiver may even become authistic and hid in a corner of his/her room and not wanting to talk to anyone anymore.

Session 3 - Cyber Gaming

Question:
Read the article on http://www.straitstimes.com/vgn-ext-templating/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=c6ad31f5ae830210VgnVCM100000430a0a0aRCRD&vgnextchannel=d884758920e39010VgnVCM1000000a35010aRCRD. After you read, I would like you to answer a few questions.
a) What are your views in pursuing a career with the gaming industry, especially in Singapore?
b) What qualities does Jason Chionh have that allow him to do what he wish to do?

Answer:
I am not saying that joing the gaming industry is bad but I think that the gaming industry will not last for very long. Although kids nowadys keep on playing games, I have a feeling that the games will not last forever. Parents are starting to ensure that their kids do not get addicted to games and most families only give a specific amount of time to their child to play the computer. For example, I am only allowed to use the computer for 2 hours a day. If it is a holiday, I can use the computer for 4 hours but i must have a break of 1 hour after 2 hours of playing. At first, my parents bought a programme that will shut down the computer after every 2 hours. I felt it was a pain in the neck as the computer always shut down when I have not saved my game. But after trying out that programme for 3 months, I somehow got used to it and shut down the computer before it shut me out. Although I will still have the urge to play, I will control myself. When my time is up, I will automatically stop playing and switch off the computer. After quite some time, I realised that the game does not really help me in my daily life. Games does not help me pass my exams unless the game concerns our subjects. Games take up all of my study time and my grades have been dropping. I made the decision to stop playing the game and focus on my studies. After that, my grades had been going upwards and I now feel that the game is useless in my life and I do not need to play the game to live. My whole life's goal was switched from being the first in the game to being the first in class.
Jason has the perserverence and deterimation. Thus, he was able to achieve his goal in life.

Session 2 - Cyber Crap

Question:
John was checking his email one day, and he saw this particular one, which was sent to him from someone he did not know. The subject of the email sounded urgent, so instead of deleting it, John clicked on it to read it.
Subject: 81 feared dead from swine flu in Mexico.
I sent this email to you with a very heavy heart. I’m sure you have heard of the recent swine flu outbreak. Novel influenza A (H1N1) is a new flu virus of swine origin that was first detected in April, 2009. The virus is infecting people and is spreading from person-to-person, and has sparked a growing outbreak of illness in the United States with an increasing number of cases being reported internationally as well.To date, A/H1N1 flu has killed 337 people in 121 nations and regions and the number of the total infected exceeded 80,000, a top official of the World Health Organization (WHO) said on Thursday. There are already 1003 cases in Singapore, a country known for its stringent health measures.Just FYI, in 1918, there was flu pandemic -commonly known as the Spanish flu- which was caused by an unusually severe and deadly Influenza A virus strain of subtype H1N1, claimed the lives of 50-100 million people. Researchers are speculating if the one that is ongoing will have that high number of death tolls, that is, if the pandemic persists.I’ve attached a file on how to protect yourself during this period of outbreak. I sincerely urged you to take a look at it, so that you can take the said preventive measures. You are not only protecting yourself, but also the people around you.My cousin, who lives in Mexico, introduced me to a type of medicine that is said to work effectively. I’ve also given you the link in the file attachment. I strongly encourage you to purchase the medicine, as I have also purchased it myself.
Yours sincerely,
Max Wilkertin.
Now, what should John do? Should he open the file attachment? Should he buy the medicine?

Answer:
No! John should not open the file attachment. The file attachment may contain a virus or a programme that is able to suck out all the information from his computer. If John's computer contains all his important and private documents and the programme allows the other person (unknown person who started the chain mail) at the other side to view all his private documents, that other person could cause a huge damage to John. And if John continues to send the e-mail to all of his contacts, the virus could just pass from one person to ten person and then to hundreds and thousand and millions of people. John should also not buy the medicine. If the medicine was real and it is really effective towards prevention of swine flu, doctors would have said it and it would be posted on the daily newspapers.

Session 1 - Revealing Information

Question:
In Session 1, we shared about how your online identity is public, not private and how you should always be careful what you post online. Watch the following clip linked below. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOwpGF1SOQM What do you think the clip is trying to share?

Answer:
The clip is trying to share how dangerous it is to post personal information like your name, school, e-mail, address (especially the postal code), pictures and mobile phone number on the internet as anyone can easily Google your name and find out all about you. The person might try to harass you or do even worst things like hurting you or your loved ones. We should all create a COOL identity. COOL stands for: Cannot reveal gender and age, Original, Out of this world and something that you Like. We should practice selective disclosure of information so that we would not get hurt so easily. Pictures that are posted on the internet before can never be taken out of the web anytime you like. Even if you have deleted and removed it, someone might have already copied and pasted your picture at another webpage. The picture would then spread from one web to ten webs and to hundreds and thousands. We should always be very cautious of what we post on the web. We can keep our personal information safe by using nicknames, initials or even backward spelling. We can also use an alternative e-mail account. Everything on the internet is freely accessible and not within our control. So, we have to be considerate and spare a thought for ourselves and the people around us so that it would make the internet a safe and fun place to go to.